midflight.

2012-01-04T19:17:00.001+08:00

It feels really funny to be emotionally detached from family. I wish my choices were more...easily acceptable.

Yeah, having a good family is a very precious thing, and I honestly am one of the luckier ones in that aspect. But it's almost been 3 years, and there is only so much I can take. It shows on my face, my eyes and in my headaches.

I can't go away though. That will be very selfish of me and I just wasn't brought up that way.

But you never know.

posted from Bloggeroid

2011-12-28T14:03:00.003+08:00

Yoooohooooo! I've got to get blogging again, really. I know noone comes here, but this is my little space (I've more space on blogger than cupboard space) and I still kinda love it. Like a mad toddler that belongs to me or something.

Be back! :)

2011-11-13T20:41:00.001+08:00

I am so proud of myself. I think I have actually matured, somehow! I am not gonna explain here, but yay yay yay yay!

posted from Bloggeroid

2011-11-08T01:59:00.001+08:00

Testing!

posted from Bloggeroid

2011-10-20T11:03:00.002+08:00

Turns out I was being stupid. :) Okay, wait no, misled. That works better in my favour.

Cream crackers and milo make such an addictive combination. I actually feel like having crackers and milo instead of working. And at lunch time, I wanna have crackers and milo again. Ooo, and at tea time! Maybe dinner too. I don't have the habit of having supper, so I'll give it a rest. Or maybe not.

2011-10-17T23:14:00.003+08:00

Feel like I am not enough. Like I am made of unfulfilled needs.

I wish I could say that I knew I'm being stupid.

2011-10-01T19:56:00.001+08:00

gonna make tom yam soup tonight! is it normal to have pumpkin chunks in it? i'm hoping the sweetness of the pumpkin will go well with chilli padi and the sourness of assam. let's see! will post the recipe here if it's any good.

my F of IT assignment is due wednesday, and the assignment questions and module notes are still packed away in some box that's buried under many of it's other boxy friends. sigh.

btr get cracking. it's gonna be a long night (bought extra strong chinese tea that calls itself the best in the world) and I have soup to make.

happy saturday! :)

2011-09-19T01:00:00.004+08:00

So my crazy old oven got fixed. Now it's my good old oven, and I figured a good way to celebrate it would be to experiment with some flavours I've never put together before. And I got this;

Vanilla cake, orange jam filling and lightly spiced icing. I just sent a friend the recipe, and decided I might as well post it here too.

THE CAKE.

You need 250grams each of
- self-raising flour
- castor sugar
- unsalted butter (I used Buttercup)

and

- 200ml buttermilk (I don't purchase actual buttermilk, just a tablespoon of vinegar mixed with 200ml milk is gd enough)
- 3 eggs, yolks and whites separate. whites beaten till fluffy
- 20ml vanilla essence, or more if you like
- 0.25 teaspoon baking powder

Baked for an hour at 130 degrees celcius in a convection oven.

After it cooled for about an hour, I cut it horizontally in preparation for...

THE JAM.

Okay I kinda lost the exact amounts of all that I used, but what I did was

1) grate 3 oranges, kept the rind aside
2) cut up the orange flesh, making sure to remove any white parts cos I didn't want any bitterness today
3) got the flesh to simmer in a saucepan with
- about a cup of brown sugar
- water
- 2 cinnamon sticks
- previously grated orange rind

It became a gooey mess, which I threw into a grinder so as to get it more...spreadable, less chunky. I am very sure this is not the proper way to do it, but I didn't plan to keep the jam for long, so it's fine lah.

THE ICING.

- icing sugar (use as much as you need till you get the consistency you want)
- 50 ml of milk steamed in cardamom seeds (not whole pods)

You might find the icing weird cos it's got cardamom and might taste like some indian sweetmeat while you're making it, but when it's spread thinly over a cake, it hardens to taste pretty good, though it really depends on your preferences. Some ppl don't fancy cardamom. Also, I didn't wanna use butter cream or fresh cream for icing cos I was afraid it'd make the cake too...heavy. But you nvr know. Might be good.

Yep, don't think I've left anything out. If you're gonna bake it, enjoy! I sure did. Had Coldplay on loop, and it was raining. Bliss. I should go back to regular baking.

Off to bed! Is it really Monday already? :-/

2011-08-28T11:19:00.008+08:00

It's been a month and a half, hasn't it?

Been so busy with work and classes. I work 6 full days a week, and am not sure how I am going to cope when the time for project submission and exam prep comes around, especially since I will probably have to be shifting to a new flat around the same time. Ah, but new environments are good sometimes, yes? Oh, I will be living much nearer to the train station! Will be an awfully short walk home, but less $$ spent on transport translates to more $$ to purchase olives. Which is nothing, if not a good thing. :-D

I never thought I would be the sort who posted emotional(negatively so) entries everytime she blogged, but it seems like I am going that direction. I have people to talk to, but I'd be much more comfortable releasing it to noone in particular cos at times...people can be narcissistic enough to think that my feeling depressed is their fault, and that if they took it upon themselves to change matters, I would be happy again. If it were that simple, really, you'd be seeing me doing cartwheels everyday.

Maybe it's hormonal. I dunno. It's been around a while. Whenever I get some time alone, I tear up a bit, and feel like rushing home just to cry. My jaws would ache, and I'd be wiping away tears that would be dangerously wobbling at my eyes, threatening to form proper drops and flow out. To a passerby, I'd look like I'm wiping the smudges of my kohl liner off, or so I hope.

It's almost like how it was when my marriage failed, except, my appetite isn't as bad as it was then, and I am generally not having as hard a time. You know what sucks? Supremely? I really, really, don't know why I am going through this now.

1) My love life is fine. I love my boyfriend, he loves me, and we don't fight much these days. We have a future.

2) I have a family that I wouldn't trade anything for. Yeah my mom and I fight alot, but that's just how it is.

3) I have a job. It's stressful but manageable, pays enough for this point of time in my life, and I actually enjoy it.

4) My studies are going alright. I have not been getting fantastic grades, but I pass, due to last minute studying, usually starting the day before, or of, the exam. Examinations in the afternoon are fantastic in that sense. :)

So...yeah. Such a puzzle.

Bits of leftover guilt, maybe?

I don't know.

I just somehow feel very mildly depressed, but a little numb at the same time; waves of feelings of insignificance, anger and frustration, all while having this weird notion in my head that the present doesn't matter, let alone the future.

I am not the saddest person on earth, but I have been making a conscious effort to be happy. Wish me luck.

2011-07-16T01:17:00.004+08:00

I feel like talking to an old friend about nothing in particular. Maybe wonder about dream interpretations and the curious shapes clouds take. If there was a cloud that looked like a duck, maybe we'd quack and giggle.

I don't know if I have a friend who'd quack with me with no prompting, tho. And I'd have to strain my eyes very hard to see cloud shapes, as it is past midnight now, and my eyes are struggling to read what I am typing, as it is. It's either fatigue, or the need for a new pair of specs.

So here I am, old friend. Blogging. :)

There might be something fundamentally wrong with me to feel trapped this easily. Something in the way I was brought up, something in a book I read as a child that left a strong message or some painting that scared me into non-submission. OR, there's nothing actually wrong with me, and I belong to a large group of ppl who think alike.

Alright, I do know I belong to that large group of ppl who think alike. But y'know...that doesn't help one bit. There might as well be something wrong with me.

It feels like I am alone. Perhaps that's the perfect truth.

2011-07-15T21:18:00.001+08:00

If I disappeared, would I still exist?

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2011-07-05T00:01:00.001+08:00

I hate telcos. I really really do.

WHY DO I HAVE TO CAMP BY THE PHONE JUST TO BLOODY REACH THEM?

Bah.

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2011-06-24T12:27:00.001+08:00

Back to job-hunting! Wish me luck, pls.

2011-06-20T22:21:00.007+08:00

I absolutely detest being locked out of my home. I will need two pairs of hands to count the number of times I have returned home, full of fatigue and longing for a drink and sleep, just to find that there is noone home to let me in.

Grr.

Anyway, my wireless network is helping keep extreme exasperation at bay, for the mo. I named my network Coconut! Connect to Coconut.

I am seriously considering a job switch. My job scope has changed to something that isnt comfy for me. I will miss that place and it's ppl. My boss is one of the best ones around, I can say that for sure. Too bad I cant find any motivation at all to stay on and perform, due to the changes in expectations.

Where the heck is my sister?! She shld have been here with the house keys bloody yonks ago.

Sigh.

Stop whining, Dhanya.

Okay the house is accessible. Finally.

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2011-06-18T02:05:00.001+08:00

Night night everyone. :)

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2011-06-12T13:43:00.001+08:00

Dealing with family is no joke. But I refuse for us to settle for agreeing to disagree.

*rolls up sleeves*

2011-05-22T15:32:00.002+08:00

Done!

Really simple, huh? Never had a skin this uncomplicated, and it feels quite good, truth be told. I apologise for the visitor-tracking tools that are plain in sight, to your right. Can't help it, I am generally perversely curious about matters that don't matter and am kinda used to having those things around. Help me keep tabs on how many times Ragani secretly visits my blog and creeps out to consume her Finnish fishy dinner.

Oh shit. She's back and I've not called her yet! *slaps self 23 times*

2011-05-21T12:37:00.006+08:00

Wow, it's been about 3 weeks, hasn't it?

Baked a cake on tuesday, and it got burnt RIGHT THROUGH! I stuck a knife into the middle, picked it up and sighed. A big biscuit. Vanilla biscotti. Mmm.

All it took was 30 minutes, in 70 degrees celsius, in a crazy old oven. I think my oven has finally reached the stage of dementia. Such a pity, since I took effort to make sure the batter was fluffy enough to come out spongey and nice, to go well with the spicy orange jam I made. And I wanted to use up the cream cheese that was leftover from that childish(ly adorable) red velvet cake thing I made some time back. Ah well. I crushed part of the big fat accidental biscuit with cream crackers and made a cheese cake base, topped it cream cheese, with the jam in between, did a childish(ly adorable)-looking green leaf on it and poked in a shiny cinnamon stick and packed it up for my stupid boy.

Note to self: get more cream cheese for the leftover accidental biscuit. And ofcos, for the down payment for a ticket to forever fatland.

I am changing my blogskin tonight! Just to facilitate reading on your android, my sweet Azzy. :-D

2011-05-03T00:44:00.000+08:00

Testing!

2011-05-01T16:23:00.005+08:00

I baked, again!

I personally thought the recipe was weird, and I am yet to taste it, but that's not just cos I'm scared it might taste evil, but cos it looks so damn cute!

(to me.)

Pre-icing! That's supposed to be red velvet cake.

That's cream cheese and butter and sugar. Heaven, I tell you. Think I had lunch while icing. :-s

I'll try the cake, and will tell you how it is. If it's any good, I'll post the recipe here. Actually, even if it isn't, I'll post it up just so you know what not to do.

It's nice having flowers in wine bottles.

2011-04-27T17:55:00.001+08:00

Why does today feel like a friday? Maybe it's cos I got paid. Mmm.

Need to go off to see the bf now, tho I feel like blogging a bit. Be back tmr!

2011-04-13T03:07:00.004+08:00

Moscato and cadbury's roast almond. A family bar, no less.

Yeah I thought I was joking earlier about studying with wine, too! Didn't actually think it might work. I was fully expecting to have a wandering mind that cldn't care less about business in the corporate/selling sense. Oh shit. Is that where I am now? How did I get here from my assignment focus? Sigh.

ONLY 2 GLASSES SO FAR and I'm a wee widdle woozy. Must be my recent lack of partying. I hear all my indian granddaddies spitting at me from their powdery graves. Omg maybe they were in some of the water I drank a while ago. Or maybe 23190831290 days back. Since they all got turned to ashes and might have gotten sprinkled over some river or sea or some water body, and water travels through condensation and evaporation. I drank my deceased relatives, wow. Maybe you did. And you peed them out.

They'd curse me if they knew my blog add, for sure.

I'm not sure I like having a busy schedule. Pros and cons. It's nice feeling important. It's also nice to feel negligible sometimes, just so I can remind myself that the big picture is so damn big that I don't have enough eyes to see the whole of it, let alone affect it. Sometimes, only sometimes.

Why the hell is that dumbassed vein throbbing so furiously behind my ear? Throbbing in the midst of hair. Today makes it 3 days of violent pulsating. I JUST WANNA KNOW WHY. Irritating length of...vital vein.

I wanted to be an actress when I was much younger. You had to be pretty to be an actress, that's what I thought. Which little girl wldn't want to be pretty? I then wanted to be a model, and maybe take part in pageants. You know, stuff you gotta work in many ways at. I quietly thank my mother for my shyness, and myself for the general laziness and boringness I possess, tho. Cos more than alot of things, I HATE being judged. Being tested is different. Being judged is worse, of the two.

I'd also hate to be well-known, even slightly. Don't have many dirty secrets, but for the ones I do have, I wldn't wanna need to keep an answer ready to feed the public in the hope that they'd form an opinion in my favour. I pity celebrities, I really do. Even the non-celeb celebrities here in Singapore. The shit that goes on about them...with supposed proof from a supposedly trusted source. Who cares how many guys she blew? She's married now, let's just hope they're leading rich lives.

Have to warn you, major generalisation ahead.

If your sister slept around alot, would you snigger and pass on her number? So what anyway? Are the good girls supposed to behave while guys they might marry go around being considered good cos they're taking care to screw only 'bad' girls? Bah, hate that way of thought.

'She's a whore, that's okay.'

'Nah she's such a good girl! Don't do anything to her.'

Bullshit. A girl is a girl. Her experiences made her whatever way she is. She probably didn't plan to be a slut. If you can't respect her, just don't do her. I think it cheapens the whole idea of sex and that it shld be had when there's mutual respect at least. Casual sex or otherwise, respect shld be considered a must-have. What do you think? I can't imagine copulating with someone who recognises me as just another free ho/number to call during dry spells, and not a person with preferences, ideals, thought processes, a heart, and most importantly, value. Somebody's sister, daughter, friend, mother or wife even. I'm not saying don't screw them; develop at least a little respect for them as individuals, then screw them. That way you set standards for yourself too, which can only be helpful. Unless you're damn hideous.

Anyway, the market for 'bad' girls only survive on demand. Noone can force you to jump on an ass. This means, by some complicated calculation that I can't be bothered to come up with right now, you probably have (unknowingly or otherwise) contributed to at least 0.5 a good girl going 'bad'. Even if you're damn hideous.

Dammit, I think I'll have one daughter, at least (my parents have 4). Got to teach her/them self-respect, impart wisdom, and the like. Wisdom, from me. HA. I don't even have wisdom teeth.

Now where was I?

2011-04-11T16:36:00.002+08:00

I'm physically not the most beautiful woman in the world. Neither am I the smartest, nor the sweetest. And I wouldn't change a thing even if I could for free.

I know I'm the best thing that'll ever happen to you, while you're my best thing too.

:)

2011-04-09T11:43:00.007+08:00

Ooo it's already been a week since I was last here! At this rate, the year will end in what will seem only like 3 months.

I was enjoying a drink at coffeebean & tealeaf, forum shopping mall yesterday evening. Alone. Does anyone else think this isn't odd? I had a mudpie with me, if you can call it that. I've had chocolate cake which had more moisture and cocoa in it. My iced moroccan mint tea latte was very good tho! I've missed that drink.

Alright, back to my assignment on motivation. HA! How ironic.

2011-04-02T13:53:00.004+08:00

It took me 10 min to get to this page to do a new entry. Sucks that I'm paying to use snail-paced internet. Bloody NLB, bet it's on purpose.

Oh god, I sound like my father. :-o

My assignments are due next week! One's on Monday, and the other's Wednesday. And the Wednesday one is hardly even 10% done. Better make sure there's coffee and tea at home. Maybe I shld get some wine. Study date, with my split personalities and their splits!

Current happy factor: I'm to see my stupid boy in 1.5 hours! Yaaaay!

I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse. Except...I'd much rather eat a cow. Or salmon. Maybe we'll have mee goreng. Or an oyster omelette! The bf has never had such an omelette, and I think that will just not do.

I'm in no mood to do my assignment/ study. This is no good at all. My mom hates that I do work better at night. I ALWAYS get nagged at when I say I'll be up late working on my assignment. The lights will be on blah blah look at your eyes blah blah you use up so much milk for your drinks blah blah blah if you don't sleep I can't sleep BLAH blah blaaaaaah.

Do Scorpio mothers and Saggi daughters get along at all? Must find out.

I suppose I should at least attempt some work.

2011-03-27T21:36:00.002+08:00

My mom saw my right boob. :(

I reached out for my facial scrub from the bathroom, and my mom caught a glimpse. I know she did when she went "I saaaaaw!"

Ah well.

2011-03-17T13:21:00.000+08:00

OFFICIALLY SINGLE, BABY!

2011-03-14T05:14:00.012+08:00

I shouldn't pull all-nighters, really. My assignment's supposed to be done by now but all I'm doing is nothing, productivity-wise. Should have turned in when the bf did; at least my eyes wouldn't burn when I put on my contacts in a few hours to head off to work. Suppose I'll be early for once. Haha.

That feeling of unrest I mentioned here months ago is back. (Was it here or at the other secret space? Ah, insignificant.) This isn't PMS, cos I'm pretty steady emotionally through out my cycle. Alright I know noone's reading, and if by some miracle, you actually are, I'm sure you don't care if I suffer from PMS or not, but it's 5.27 on a Monday morning and this is the space I've chosen for release.

I think I might be experiencing some sort of...numbness.

How significant is anything, really? Family, friends...love. Relationships. Are they really existent for happy purposes? My answer would be a loud yes, naturally, since I've beautiful people around me whom I know I'm bloody lucky to have. People who love me, whom I love dearly, and treasure very, very much. I don't doubt their importance as individuals, nor the significance of all they have to offer me or the rest of the world.

The question is, while noone understands me well, am I happy? Why the heck doesn't anyone, anyway?

Well I suppose I do keep things to myself. Can't blame me...since my views and explanations are seldom understood, and sometimes regarded nonsensical. But those are my explanations, and they make sense to me. Guess that's probably cos they're the results of MY reasoning and reactions to MY situations. So why bother?

How can you honestly love me without knowing me well?

I try talking. And I try, and then I try some more. Afterwhich I give up and settle for being mad/weird/dumb/. I AM all that, just not by default. I can be immature or mature, insensitive or very aware, but those don't define me. You can't do a label cos I'm a person, not a jar. Everyone gets different sides from me cos everyone's a situation; you get what you give. Most of the time. :)

I daresay noone knows me better than I do. And I do long for that to change...it's tiring having a filter; a wall of sorts. You think someone understands you, then they say something and up goes another layer of bricks.

There's an unexplainable kind of comfort in being alone with your thoughts though, don't you think? Maybe being understood is overrated. :)

2011-03-14T01:40:00.004+08:00

I'm going thru my tagged photos on FB and I saw this particular old one with me, a bunch of friends, and 2 guys I've made out with. And now I feel like a slut. Well one is my bf now, but still? Baaaaah.

Bah.

2011-03-08T03:28:00.005+08:00

ALRIGHT!

Changed my background and a few colours. I have no idea who that knocked up lady is, but that picture is very very beautiful, I think. I stole those images from the results of a google search for flowers and arranged them as seen above. Wait no...behind. Or beside. Ah, depends on your screen/browser. Anyway. If any of those images are yours, sue me.

My song's different too. Love this one...it's kinda special for a few probably obvious reasons. :)

Oh and yes, new chatterbox! I'll let it sit there to look pretty for a bit before deciding if I shld do away with it. I don't get as much traffic as I did before I closed this space late 2009, and I think that post-specific commenting function shld suffice. Ah, I'll see how.

I'm looking for a part-time/freelance job. Maybe tuition. I signed up at this agency and the only assignment I've been informed of so far is this primary school kid who needed coaching in english, math and HINDI. I am very aware that I did not list hindi as one of subjects I can do. Must be cos I'm indian. (Oooo bollywood is indian, so all things indian are bollywood.) I cursed under my breath but forced a smiley in my reply to the agency.

My assignments aren't keeping me awake. Sigh.

Good night.

2011-02-28T01:01:00.002+08:00

Promise to self - new tagboard within 48 hours.

Okay maybe no tagboard at all.

Nah, I must have a tagboard.

But what's the use of it? I'll probably keep being spammed. I'm such a good spammee too, I hold conversations with those automated things.

Then again, I've always had a tagboard, and twinnie left a comment just a few days ago. It's a channel of communication, even if it's for spambots too.

If only this was a real problem and real issues were just as trivial. :)

Night!

2011-02-25T01:15:00.003+08:00

Yes, I think my blogskin is boring too. Don't stare at me too accusingly, I'm working and studying at the same time WHILE having a boyfriend and a big family! Alright I probably just described the contents of the plate of the average girl. BUT. There's a slight difference in my situation.

See, I'm really quite lazy.

2011-02-11T18:47:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I'm astonishingly dumb.

2011-02-07T10:27:00.005+08:00

Somebody get me more pineapple tarts from Joyus Pastries! And maybe a container or two of mini shrimp rolls, if they're selling any. And pls be quick, thanks! (they're not paying me for this, I just really want tarts. And shrimp rolls.)

Don't you want a big pool of that to dive into and eat your way out of?

I suppose I'll have a lot more to say about the long chinese new year break if I were chinese. If only deepavali had such wonderful public benefits. There's only 1 public Hindu holiday, even though there's thaipusam and all. So odd, aren't we obviously and very visibly busy on thaipusam and therefore would need to take leave or pull a sickie? Ah oh well. What you gonna do, right?

Class later! And my stupid boy's face after that. Yay. :)

2011-01-27T13:31:00.005+08:00

Mee goreng for lunch! Nice big pack of it, and breakfast was yet another nice big pack of nasi lemak. I wonder how I'm only slightly plump, and not fat. Maybe it's all the long walks I take. Or maybe it's only a matter of time.

Wonder what my mom's cooking for dinner. My sister just got back from India this morning, so it must be something close to spectacular, at least. Ah, my mom could just make sambar and fried chicken and rasam and I'll feast in euphoria.

I love siew mai!

I also love the muffins that're sold near smith street at this tiny roadside stall that calls itself Serendipity. They're one of the best I've tasted so far, and my favourite's the banana muffin which's got real banana bits in it, and there's no taste of that fake flavour you get off artificial banana essence.

Isn't banana a funny word? Makes me wanna spell it bananananana.

Helsa adores the 'black & white' chocolate muffin, which, I must say, is really tasty too, but I don't get the same kick that I get out of biting into a baked bit of bananananana.

Oh and there's this german take-out place a few stalls down that sells (surprise, surprise) weiners (HEHE) and meatloaves and onion bread and stuff. Ah, the place has a blog! Here. Anyway. The food's delicious. He opens after 3pm during weekdays. I shld get paid for this.

Mee goreng's finally finished! I wish I had more siew mai.

It's gonna be a beautiful weekend. I can feel it. :) (but I'd feel it even more if pay comes in early this month.)

2011-01-16T23:24:00.001+08:00

I will blog. Tmr! I don't like seeing my picture there, so I shall blog it down.

2010-12-30T16:30:00.000+08:00

I don't know.

2010-12-18T18:21:00.000+08:00

So here're my new frames! That's a really poor excuse for a shot, I know. Don't really feel pretty in specs, so I shrunk that image alot. Ah, look at me, the world's going to hell in a handbasket and I'm bitching about the downsides of being short-sighted.

I'll be 24 later. In 6 hours, to be exact, since I was born at 12.25am.

Can't say I'm dreading becoming older. There IS the pressure that comes with it; having to grow...financially and achievement-wise and probably in maturity too. Haha. I'm not ruffled by this tho. I know I'll do fine, am actually looking forward to what's to come.

I just hope I'm making good decisions for a change.

2010-12-13T13:40:00.001+08:00

That previous post was saved as a draft, and I have no idea why. Anyway, I'M IN SPECS!

*does a couple of very unprofessional somersaults*

While the front's mostly black, the sides aren't of the same colour; one's green, the other's red. I got them cos they'd look a little weird to the normal eye, and plain interesting or even normal to the weird eye. Stupid boy really likes them, and he wants me to wear those at umm...some particular times.

Ahem.

I'm EATINGEATINGEATINGEATING and I think I might start calling myself Food from now on cos that's what I seem to be occupied with almost all the time! What I mean by this is this; I have meals. Then I have mini-meals in between. They're not all unhealthy, but that's a lot of intake. And lately I've become addicted to masala tea/coffee. Beautiful beverages. I feel like I'm drinking the very essence of love, when I slowly sip on and savour those things.

On the edge of madness, yes.

I've not had my tea for the day. Maybe that's why I'm shaking my legs. I think I'll get a popiah too. Or two.

A couple of my FB statuses for the year. It's been a good year, I think. :)

2010-12-10T16:34:00.003+08:00

Gonna get my new frames in 2 hours.

wooooOOOT!!!

I'msoexcitedsoexcitedsoexcitedsoexcitedsoexcitedsoexcitedsoexcitedsoexcited at the idea of not having to wear contacts non-stop. I'm sick of the almost perpetual discomfort. Now contacts shall be reserved for days that I wanna look extra pretty. Yay.

Got to go now. Toodles!

2010-12-06T22:51:00.003+08:00

Pictures of my BIATC!

Adorable innit! Okay I know that's not a teacup. But BIATC (brownie in a teacup, for the uninitiated) sounds more...easy to identify with.

2010-12-06T11:10:00.002+08:00

Alternating. Cold, hot, warm, hot, cold, warm, HOT.

Cold. But never frozen.

2010-12-03T10:25:00.002+08:00

http://www.perfect10.com.sg/

I was looking for the website for that Perfect 10 radio station, and found this breast enhancement site instead.

'If you're one of the millions of women who suffer the embarrassment of small breasts, natural breast enhancement may change your life.'

Up yours, whoever wrote and approved that! That might be the dumbest line I've heard all week. Suffer the embarrassment of small breasts, wtf? Really, who should be more embarrassed, the small-breasted or the small-minded?

"Oooo I'm gonna lure poor body-conscious females into buying my product by helping them acknowledge that they have shame-inducing breasts first, and then I'm gonna tell them it's all okay cos I've some miracle cream that will give them a false sense of confidence. Yaaaay $$$$!!"

And there're women who'll buy it. Heck, even you might be reaching for your VISA card after seeing what's on that website.

There's nothing wrong in wanting to improve the way your body looks but if you're going to have to buy that improvement (besides a personal trainer), it just becomes a sad story. Cos if you feel the need to artificially enlarge some part of yourself so that you'll be more attractive to your boyfriend or other ppl in general, maybe you need to change your boyfriend and/ or your personality.

But the actual question here is, what's so embarrassing about having small boobs? Aren't women supposed to come in different shapes and sizes?

I love my body, and I love my boobs. I've slightly small breasts and honestly, I think they're beautiful. They're an important part of me. If I had a boyfriend who wished my boobs were bigger, it just means that I'm not his type of beautiful, which makes him not the right kinda guy for me. You can't keep a person who has to try to accept you. It's all about individual preferences.

I prefer it real.

Mmm. I think I shall post this on FB too.

2010-12-01T11:17:00.003+08:00

I was yakking tiredly on the phone, hung up around midnight, and decided to laze on the sofa for a while before turning in. Next thing I knew, it was 8am (late for work!) and I was curled up in the exact same position as I was 8 hours ago, except, there was a blanket on me.

I do vaguely remember my mom catching me nodding off on the sofa, and sighing and going, "Aiyah. Do whatever you want lah."

Ah, couple of days ago, I was alarm-snoozing excessively, and my mom got irritated and screamed, "DHANYA!" I got up on my elbows and said, "I said I'm leaving now!" and resumed sleeping. That felt weird.

My mom hasn't killed me yet. I love that woman.

2010-11-30T17:33:00.002+08:00

Pardon my previous post. That was me checking if emailing text and photos here wld work. And it did! Yay!

I shall be blogging tonight. Off to see Beeer now, following which will be time with my stupid boy, which will be spent being all disgustingly lovey dovey. :)

(empty)

2010-11-29T13:36:00.000+08:00

Testing!

Warmest Regards, Dhanya

2010-11-25T11:10:00.003+08:00

Starting my course all over again next year, 31JAN. Can't wait! My mind is so much more peaceful than it was last year, and I know I'm ready to do well. I did think the modules were interesting, but I couldn't bring myself to care about them while I underwent really really reaaallly mild depression.

Shit. I miss my depression weight. Felt so good to see a 50 on the scales. I'm now 55! Curves are nice, but arm flab isn't.

2010-11-24T10:31:00.003+08:00

This is a little embarrassing. I kiiiinda didn't take any pictures of my BIATC. Bleurgh. The bf did, though. But those were pics taken while my BIATC was being raped by a lit candle, so I guess you'll nvr know how cute it really was. I know you don't care, but I like to think I'm actually talkin to someone who's listening intently, due to genuine interest.

I'll get those pics off my stupid boy and post them up here. The deadline for this particular task shall be 31DEC10. :)

My birthday's coming soon. I'll celebrate yet another year of achieving absolutely nothing, except constantly being in some relationship since 15. Except this time, it feels like sunshine in my heart. :)

2010-11-23T15:06:00.010+08:00

It's my stupid boy's birthday today!

(And my 2-yr wedding anniversary. Haha.)

I woke up with a headache this morning, and since it was most definitely due to lack of sleep, I decided to take the first half of the work day off, and did some major snoozing (the alarm's snooze button probably hates me by now). When I finally awoke fully, I was thinking about how much I love my boyfriend, and decided to make him a brownie in a teacup.

Okay I know I seem to be baking brownies and brownies only forever and all eternity, but in my defence, I have also baked apple pies and chicken pies and vegetarian pies and butter cakes and orange cakes and a couple other stuff that don't come to mind now that I have not documented, nor publicised. Sooo...there, I've made some useless point. Oh oh oh, and I love brownies the most. And, since this time I'm doing a real small amount of it (just enough to bake in a teacup), I decided to do a recipe I'm totally familiar/comfy with, so that the end result will kick ass no matter what. :)

The brownie in a teacup (BIATC) looks completely adorable (just like my stupid boy!). I will take pictures of my BIATC and post it up here within...the next 24 hours! Yes, I gave myself a deadline again! I swear I'll stick to it this time cos posting up 2 or 3 (5 max) pictures doesn't take much creative effort.

I'm doing an image search on google for brownies in cups, and sadly, these things are in existence! I don't feel so special anymore. Sigh.

Ah, mine still looks better. HA.

Oh shit. Here's a nice bunch.

Ah bien, original idea or not, I love it. From now on, I'm going to bake my personal stash of brownies in cups. When I want to have them, I'll warm them up and dig in (literally). Yay!

I really should get back to work. See you soon with pics of my BIATC. :)

2010-11-02T14:29:00.001+08:00

The hotel ppl wrongly labelled their mocha 'unsweetened'. I added 1 pack of raw sugar, and I think I might have diabetes now.

Inaccurate labelling aside, I love teabreaks!

2010-11-01T16:49:00.002+08:00

So all I did this halloween was binge on chicken nuggets. And cut the centre out of a fruit cake cos the oven's mad and the middle part refused to cook its gooey self.

Oh, I did paint my nails black, tho! But they're matt. And a little messy. A bit like acrylic paint. Boooo.

My charcoal sticks are wailing to be used. I got them a good...*counts months off fingers* ... 5 months ago.

WOW, TIME FLIES THE CONCORDE.

2010-10-21T23:42:00.003+08:00

I'm on this page! http://www.shanozzyinc.com/

So sexciting!!

P.S: I've been quite busy lately. I do want to do a post today tho. :)

2010-10-11T02:37:00.004+08:00

I'm having coffee in a beer mug.

I love this! It has been decided that w.e.f. today, this shall be my nightly routine; a beer mug of coffee sometime between 1am and 3am.

Byebye beauty sleep. You elusive thing.

2010-10-08T03:07:00.003+08:00

Wow, I appear to be a bimbo in love, don't I? Thank god I don't care a whole lot. In other words, thank god this blog isn't for the purpose of money-making or anything even remotely useful. Actually. Celebrity bloggers here seem to be bimboes. Bimboes with badly doctored posts. No flow. Lower secondary standard English, even after probably editing 27382 times. I don't write fabulously, but those people could do a whoooooooole lot better. I am generalising though.

What the heck am I being diplomatic for? They (generally, ahem) suck.

I have been contemplating the pros and cons (the entertainment value, to be specific) of putting up a 'buy me a beer' button. Donations, ofcos, are strictly NOT to be made, if I do decide to place some button like that somewhere here. I do wish there was a way some kind/bored soul could send an actual drink to my door with a few clicks. Like that bottle of beer. Or a milkshake; I'm not choosy. Oh, or a pizza!

Getting addicted to coffee. This is no good. 3plus in the morning and I'm shaking my legs in impatience that's unaccounted for.

2010-10-07T12:26:00.003+08:00

I love my stupid (and occasionally clever) boy! He's now whistling a tune into the fan's face. In case you're wondering what tune, it's the Final Countdown song.

ACT CUTE!

(It's apparently a cool song)

Toodles!

2010-10-05T12:37:00.004+08:00

I'm at Starbucks and there's this bastard sitting right opposite, facing me, and I think my seating choice has never been more unfortunate. Yes, this beats having a mad old man beside me in the bus screaming 'cheebye' in sporadic bursts.

This fellow (dressed in a seriously screwed up yellow & brown printed shirt and not-so-cute nerdy specs) is a metre or less away from me, and busy acting busy reading the papers but I just KNOW he wants to be an ass to me. This is how I know; his main engagement at the moment is blowing at me. Really, blowing as in 'hoooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooooo' blowing. I CAN FEEL HIS BREATH ON MY FACE. He blows couple of times every 3 minutes and it's now been about 8 minutes and I think it's a miracle that my macchiato is not all over his dumb, blowing head. Yet.

Ah. I just gave him this expressionless stare for like...5 seconds. And now he's real casually blowing at some other direction. Thank god it worked. Wld have hated to actually have to talk to him, to say something like, "Stop blowing at me". That wld have been so weird.

Maybe I shld get some cake.

2010-10-01T12:41:00.002+08:00

Yep, 'tonight' was a long long time ago. Teehee. Ah, it's difficult to blog with a bf.

To illustrate my point, HERE'S MY STUPID BOY!

TOODLES!

2010-09-23T14:19:00.002+08:00

It's been a while, hasn't it? Lately, I've been texting way more than typing. I think my thumbs actually shiver when they're not required to furiously jerk all over that keypad.

I shall blog tonight! About nothing in particular. As always. :)

2010-09-18T17:44:00.002+08:00

Gosh I miss baking. Miss miss miss it! I remember those glorious brownie-making days. I was on a (brown) roll, I tell you! Ah well. The finances aren't the best at the moment (in other words, I'm utterly UTTERLY broke), so the batches and batches of brownies can wait. Oh, and I'm gonna bake more granny smith apple pies too. AND eclairs. And scones and breads and fruity buns and layers and layers of all kinds of cakes with all kinds of creams and nuts and fruits on/over/between them. And I shall stop this before I climax.

Ah, my stupid boy's busy studyin for his exams next week. I miss him way way way too much. Disgusting.

Oh, I'm moving back to the east! I've missed that area quite a bit. This move wasn't planned for earlier, but it's pretty confirmed now. December will see me saying bye bye to amk, and helloooo to pasir ris/ tampines. What sucks is that I'll be leaving my boy in checkered shorts in the north of singapore! Ah well. The country's pretty small; complaining would be pathetic. Also, change can bring about exciting things. :)

Can't wait to see you again, my stupid boy. Sigh.

2010-09-11T20:14:00.003+08:00

If you used to visit this space way back, you'd know about the many many many times that I was approached by men who were absolutely NOT my type while walking home from the mrt station, and that they always turn up from behind (sigh). Since moving to ang mo kio though, I've had no such disturbances during my wonderfully peaceful walks home TILL a few nights ago. Double sigh.

I was contemplating on the pros and cons of making a small detour to get some minced meat noodles (the coffeeshop 15 min away from my home sells seriously fantastic minced meat noodles. my stupid boy agrees!) when I felt like I was being watched. I noticed the shadow of a man in my pathway, and did a little sigh. In the vehemence of my sighing, I tripped a little on a crack in the pavement like a typical indian heroine and this chinese guy in his late 30s/early 40s went, "Oh sorry! Sorry sorry!"

I did a quiet 'wtf...'.

He fished out his mobile and asked if it was too dark, and therefore if I needed illumination from his phone. I politely declined. So he proceeded to talk to me a while, and when he arrived at the bus stop where he apparently had to wait at for a friend, he told me I forgot something.

Me: What?
Him: Your number lah. Don't have your number then how to contact you?
Me: I have a boyfriend. I told you.
Him: Nvm lah, can be friends what.
Me: HAHA. Don't want lah.
Him: Aiyah okay lah. Must wait for my friend here. Bye, see you!
Me: Yah.

You might be wondering what the hell I'm doing actually replying to him, and my reasoning is this; it's 10+ in the night, and I'm walking home alone. I'd really prefer not to piss off some stranger who's tendencies I'm not aware of. Personally think that ignoring someone is a lot more rude than refusing to give him your number.

Oh and yesterday afternoon, at nephew #3's birthday party, a self-appointed video-camming middle-aged fellow asked me if I cld have the birthday boy on my lap, and ask him a few questions (happy birthday, do you like your birthday so far, did you get many presents, etc etc) so that he can film the whole thing. I obliged, but it didn't work out very well cos my nephew just wanted to run around in the drizzle. The guy then told me he did videography and photography, and he cld pass me his number, so that we can talk.

Me: Talk? Talk about what?
Him: Talk. Umm...talk...
Me: ???
Him: So...where do you work?

He insisted on passing me his number, so I just took it to cut the convo short, afterwhich he told me to give him a missed call, which I never did, ofcos. I asked my sister about him. He's apparently really unpopular with the ladies. Figures.

Time to wash my hair with tea! Toodles for now!

2010-09-07T12:14:00.005+08:00

The saddest dream I've had in years. It brings me near tears, tho it's been 2 days since I had it.

He and I met up. I knew it was over, he knew it was over, I was trying to be obvious about the separation, but having a hard time doing it cos he was acting normal and happy. I cld see it was all a big show on his part, to try keep things going. My heart felt so heavy and I felt that familiar feeling of dumb helplessness, and was just carrying on casual conversation the best I cld.

We were about to enter a train when I stopped, looked at him, shook my head slowly like they do in the movies, saying, "No".

He hung his head, and I started crying. We hugged for a few minutes, weeping into each other's shoulders. His train came, and he was gone.

2010-09-06T10:01:00.002+08:00

-.-

2010-09-04T09:34:00.002+08:00

The niece and I were talking about birthdays yesterday and I told her all about the day she was born.

Madhu : I looked like this right? *does a scrunched up, pouty face*
Me : Something like that...maybe a bit less weird.
Madhu : Mmm...I didn't have teeth right?
Me : Yep, no teeth. :)

A few seconds later;

Madhu : But I did have a tongue right?

2010-09-02T21:58:00.003+08:00

I'm going to see Ragani AND Jeevitha tmr night! And hopefully, Kit will join us! It's going to be a fantastic friday!

*swims in exclamations!!!*

If only I cld see my stupid boy sooner than sunday. Sigh. Saturday night shall be spent lounging around finishing that book of short stories (it's pretty interesting. the main characters are jews in all sorts of predicaments) that's a month overdue. I think I'll just keep that book. Wldn't be surprised if NLB banned me from borrowing stuff. They've been sending me hate mail for years. :(

2010-08-31T09:08:00.003+08:00

Jogged in the rain yesterday! It was so so good. Yeah I felt like I shld stop cos my heart was threatening to burst, but doing it in the rain was wonderful! Heehee, 'doing it in the rain'. Teeeeeheeeee!

Ahem. Anyway. I was panting like a fat child just 2 minutes into it. How sickening to realise that some aunty can coolly outrun you (yes she did. =( ). I must make this exercise thing a regular occurrence. This is so that a) when I get frightened by a dead rabbit, I can run with much efficiency b) I'll grow older not feeling so guilty about eating slightly more than I used to during my less happy days, which is what I've joyously been doing recently and c) I'll have less jiggles in my thighs so that I won't have to think twice about doing the chicken dance if the occasion called for it.

Today shall be a day of indulgence, tho. My stupid boy will be mine the whole day. :-D

2010-08-30T00:45:00.002+08:00

There's this feeling of unrest... I can't decide why.

2010-08-29T12:21:00.004+08:00

http://www.aware.org.sg/2010/07/my-short-skirt-invites-you-to-violate-me/

Of all the comments, I agree with this;

'Robin
July 29, 2010 at 3:49 pmI think some of this stems from the way some (of course not all) men split women into a dichotomy: those that you marry and those that you f@ck.

In both cases the woman is seen purely in terms of her value to men instead of being recognized as an individual.

This little survey drills down on the topic with more specifics: http://bit.ly/dyKYBx'

and this the most;

'Wake Up
August 3, 2010 at 10:26 pmThese guys are not raping the hot girl. Nobody is raping the hot girl. They are too scared stiff of her to even try get her number.

Tall talk of rape of the hot girl is not rape. It’s sour grapes.

The rapist doesn’t go after the girl he thinks is too good for him, who laughs at how pathetic he is.

He rapes the one he think he can dominate, the one he can overpower. It’s about power, not attraction.

Yes drunker makes her easier prey. But the girl on the train was not drunk.

The rapist is looking for the girl he thinks is weak, who won’t report him, who will fear him, who he can threaten, who he thinks will feel too guilty or scared to do anything about it afterwards… Whether this girl is dressed as a nun or a call girl he doesn’t really care.

Later the excuse may be “the skirt was too high” “the jeans were too tight” “the lipstick too red” “the look too tempting” but it’s all just to try wriggle out of the truth of the crime and sadly we buy into the story. “Maybe she did play a part… may she was too tempting.” BS.

Yes don’t get so high that you don’t know where you are and who you are with. Yes don’t be so friggin stupid as to go into a flat or on to a boat with 6 guys you don’t know. These are all stupid moves.

But if you want to rock that outfit when you are walking down the street or in a train, then you go. Guys always talk shit and they always will.'

It's so true, it doesn't matter what you're wearing. When I got chased in the train by an unfamiliar dick which was up at a 90 degree angle, I was wearing a turtle neck under a big brown knit granny cardigan that covered my ass, long black pants and covered flats. And big nerdy specs. It was one of those bleurgh days where I didn't give a damn what I looked like...which was just as well, considering. Turd actually spotted me waiting for the train and decided to come over and try his darndest sticking his member to my ass the next 5 minutes. I know this is incomparable to rape, but if I'd been in some deserted place, I wld've had a much worse day.

Just a few days ago...thursday night, I think, I got a bit of a scare cos I was waitin to cross a traffic light at selegie area, and this big person seemed to appear out of nowhere right behind me, with too little space between us. I stepped away to my right and saw from the corner of my eye that it was this man with long straight hair which is EXACTLY how the turd was like. My heart sank almost to my feet, when I saw boobs and realised it was just a slight giant of a woman. Argh.

Anyway, yes. No need to dress provocatively or be pretty. As long as you look like you have a vagina, you're 'asking for it'. Also depends on luck I guess. Men have obviously stronger bodies and if I'm fated to cross dark lonely paths with a rapist, I'll just hope he doesn't hurt me enough to need hospitalisation or, die. But, ofcos, I'll do the best I can to get him caught.

Ah well. In a world where a 6-month-old baby girl can get raped with her arms tied behind her back (was he really anticipating that much physical resistance?) and thrown down a rubbish chute, you really can't expect much.

2010-08-28T01:41:00.005+08:00

The minty Kit Kats were good! They tasted almost exactly like After Eights, except with no glorious goo. Ooo I miss that goo. Mmm. New idea for a facebook status update. Haha.

Oh, as you can see, new background! Yep, that's my ass. It feels a little odd, looking at it cos I've never had a good, proper view of how I looked like from the back. So this feels almost like some random alien shot. Anyway. Photo & editing credit goes to Vin. :-D I just added that slight red tint and borders, and that place I was in looks absolutely gorgeous here. Nice, dreamy shot, isn't it?

Ah and yes, RAGANI'S COMING BACK SOON FOR CREAMY DOSES OF LOVIN'!

2010-08-27T01:30:00.003+08:00

The wrongly accused.

Friend says:
ahemmm
eh
u look very pretty ah in ur fb dp
keep it up

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
hahahha farker

Friend says:
with ur guy
haha
wat!!!!
KNN
ppl give compliment

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
OH WAIT A MIN

Friend says:
also get scolded

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
you mean my FB pic ah?

Friend says:
gawd

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
not my msn pic?! (which, at this juncture, I need to say, is the image of sunrays forming a heartshape on the otherwise dull seat of a transitlink bus)

Friend says:
ur level of intelligence

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

Friend says:
is shrinking

Okay I know it's not thaaaat funny. Nvm.

Had a fantastic time with Kit at gulab jamun fest/dinner today. She makes me wanna visit Europe! Maybe I will, when I realise I've SGD 2399120931223 to spare.

By the way, I've recently begun realising that being my natural self is not really much good, in general. This is not a bad thing I think, maybe a little saddening, at most. Have to make things better, since I don't live in my own big dreamworld. Yep, here I am, talkin about dreaming again. And yes, I think Inception is a wonderful film. Haha.

Sometimes I can't help it though; when I'm reminded time and time again that I'm just one person who's really, in fact, alone. Alone in my experiences, emotions, ways.

Am I missing something, maybe? Was this supposed to be, perhaps, just a little less difficult? I might have made a wrong step, or two, while being typically me.

P.S: Got mint Kit Kats. Tell you how it tastes after I have one with the bf tmr. We both love mint. :)

2010-08-26T14:31:00.000+08:00

I think I think I think, I shall blog tonight! Weeeeeeeeeee!!

2010-08-19T10:47:00.006+08:00

Out of the deep deep blue, I realised with a slight startle that hey, I miss listening to Dido! Dumb mp3 player died on me a year ago. Mmm. It died when I told the ex that things weren't working out, and the player was a gift from him. Odd coincidence(?)...but that makes its death technically alright. The songs were my downloading effort, though!

I also miss my Kinks collection, RHCP songs (was listening to one at Long John Silver's yesterday and weeped an internal tear for all my lost songs), and the other lovely bits & pieces (random numbers by random/not so random ppl, including a recording of nephew #2's heavy breathing)

Yes, Dido, as I was saying. I love her voice. So soothing. And this song's one of my favourites.

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
As I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

- White Flag

Ladidadida.

Oh, I didn't use that pink ribbon. It was a wee bit disgusting.

2010-08-18T14:10:00.009+08:00

My mom had a look at these malay bridal photoshoot pictures and had this to say; 'this looks like you're having one last fling right before your wedding ceremony.'

-.-

This is a mix of non-pro and pro photos. It was SUCH FUN! You can have a look at the photos I'm tagged in in Facebook if you're oddly curious enough to wanna see all the pictures available.

Need to get ready now. I'm gonna wear a pink sweater with a pink ribbon in my hair. Yes, eeeew and oh my god too!

2010-08-16T03:14:00.002+08:00

Made lemon pudding last night! It's obscenely easy to make, and I'm glad I did. Know why? Cos I now have lemon pudding with blueberries in it (fresh whole blueberries scattered around the pudding body, and minty blueberry jam at the base) to stuff my face with, yay!

Quite unfortunately, I miss my stupid boy. I was supposed to see him today, but totally forgot about this museum trip that I expressed interest in a few weeks ago to the sisters. Had no idea it's to be today, so I'm kinda stuck due to my previously displayed show of...enthusiasm. If only I'd kept my big trap shut.

Sigh. Museums are lovely but my stupid boy's lovelier.

You might be wondering if he's actually honestly stupid. In truth, he's a big, clever boy wearing checkered shorts. I mean, come on, he's with me! That's a really really smart decision to make. Actually...not the smartest, considering. Nevermind.

Starting work at a new place tomorrow. I can be in jeans! This is marvellous due to the fact that my legs (actually, mostly just my right leg) are decorated with shitty scars that appeared cos of an interesting variety of reasons, one of them being my checkered shorted boy.

I'm aware that I sound disgusting, referring to him all the time in sickeningly adorable(?) ways. Oh but I can't help it! *sighs and falls into a disgusting heap of mush*

You might be thinking, 'there she goes again'.

You don't know half the story. ;)

2010-08-11T22:54:00.000+08:00

Tagboard's up, along with a song by the favourite band. YAY! Now there's motivation to spout nonsense on a more regular basis.

Blog soon, when I've something more substantial(?) to say. :)

2010-08-11T12:12:00.000+08:00

In more ways than one, the grass is never greener; you just get different grass types.

This is embarrassing, this state of affairs. Yet, since there is nothing to be done about it, there is this weird sense of calm. I can't fix it, try as I might. Moral failure, somewhat. Blame would naturally be on up-bringing or external influence(s). I ask you this though, how do you steer the mind of a self-possessed dreamer? A mix of an idealist and a realist, but a little unfortunately, a dreamer nonetheless.

Dream, dream, always dream. Dream about the good, dream about the bad, but don't wish for anything. Think about consequences, but don't be afraid of them. In my dreamy state, sadness is okay, happiness is okay, money is overrated, hurt is a negligent emotion, the world will take care of itself, we're all fine. Therefore, I'm fine. I've lost some faith, maybe I'm losing more, but I'm still dreaming, and I'm fine.

2010-07-05T22:03:00.000+08:00

Okay this isn't exactly light and happy, but I quite love it, so it's here to stay. For now at least.

:)

2010-07-02T04:52:00.000+08:00

My pay cheque clearance is a day overdue and that's cos the bank apparently did not receive it. I slipped it REALLY CAUTIOUSLY into the quick cheque deposit box and watched happily(such shortlived joy, tho) while gravity pulled it down. They better be giving that box a good clean-out as I speak cos if they don't find it, I'm gonna hunt their banking asses down cos there is no way I can borrow any more from my mom since, to date, I've borrowed SGD345976123879834720340124921, give or take.

Sigh.

ANYWAY. I'm having a snickers bar for lunch today. It's raining and I have 2 umbrellas at my disposal, but I'm just gonna have hot crappy vending machine coffee and munch on the chocolate yumminess that my stupid boy got me. Some sort of happy balance, maybe. It's become obvious over the years that no matter how much I try be smart with the way I hold the umbrella (y'know, depending on which way the wind's blowing), there's just no use.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit. The bank just called saying my middle name's missing from the cheque, which explains why it wasn't cleared. Now I gotta wait for my HR person to get back to me before I know when I'll get @*$!# paid. This. Sucks. Supremely.

Could be worse. At least I'm getting paid. It's nice having a job.

Oh that reminds me! I should do some work now that lunch's over. Yay! *giggles and twirls away bimbotically*

P.S: I'm changing my blogskin over the weekend. Something lighter and happier.

2010-07-01T13:58:00.000+08:00

I've missed having a blog add that sounds young & dumb. So, I'm COMING BACK!

:-D

2009-10-08T11:19:00.001+08:00

There's not gonna be much happening here for a while. Should be blogging again in a couple of months, tho. But if you really really honestly miss me, you can always email. Teehee.

:-D

I'll miss loadofshit.blogspot.com. Till I'm back, toodles.